And Douchiest Trade Ever Goes To…

The Philidelphia Phillies! The king of all dick moves in sports has reached a new low in baseball. Now salary dumps are normal and teams are willing to trade stars or good players for players with expiring contracts in order to free cap for one reason or the other. I generally don’t complain about those things because they make those trades with the future in mind.

But what did the Phillies trade RHP Mike Cisco to the Angels for?

Literally nothing…

Yes absolutely nothing. Let’s look at a short list of things worth more than Mike Cisco.

– A ham sandwich

– a Dane Cook “comedy” album

– Lindsay Lohan

– a glass penis sculpture

– toilet paper

– 1/2 pound of hamburger meat

– a condom (preferably unused)

– Arby’s

– footie pajamas

– an envelope

– his own baseball card of himself

This trumps the Cubs hilarious trade of Dickie Noles for Dickie Noles in which no one understands how that even was still possible. If I was Mike Cisco I would accept my trade and request that when the Angels play the Phillies, if I could pitch that game. Nothing would be better than beating them to show them you are worth more than a McDouble.

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