Headline Game Reviews Are Laughably Bad

I know that it seems a bit… humorous for myself, a game reviewer, to complain about reviews. That it seems I am possibly going against my own reviews to a degree. If you check out my Call of Duty: Black Ops II review you will see that I gave it credit for what it was, an online game, but disliked it for the same reasons. I gave it credit on futuristic weapons and the like, but scathed its half-assed story and characters.

My whole point here is my major problem with Game Informer. GI, the lengthy arm of Gamestop review juggernaut that most people look at as generally laughable. My problem with Game Informer isn’t their reviews as much as it is their inconsistency. Allow me to elaborate.

Let’s start with something recent. Crysis 3 is a game that less than a month after coming out was already having its price lowered nearly $15 which is unheard of outside of holiday season. The problems were that Crysis 3 was not selling welland it was because the game was crap. If you look past the gorgeous, and I mean gorrrrrrrrgeous graphics, it is a run of the mill half ass first person shooter with more shiny stuff and a story line I literally couldn’t have cared less about.

I am a fan of graphics, but game play is king. If I don’t enjoy playing the game then it is a waste to my time and money even if it looks great. What did Game Informer give it? An 8.5. How?… how did it get an 8.5? Other than the graphics there was very little good to come from the game. I will give you the bow, but when you make a weapon that literally is unstoppable it tends to ware on me. The game was not an 8.5 by any means, I would consider giving it a 7, but that is still a reach.

The reviews of Madden also aggravate me. Every year they release the same game with minor tweaks save this year where they bastardized the franchise mode so bad that I refuse to play Madden again. There is a reason I stick to NBA2K and shun nearly all other sports titles.

Or let us look at the game that showed me to never EVER trust Game Informer as an informer of games.

Dark Sector. This game was god-awful in every facet of the hyphenated word. It had clunky controls, meh graphics, a dumbass main character and more importantly an abso-f–king-lutely useless main weapon. The glaive was suppose to be able to cut through your enemies like a hot knife through butter, like Luke through the Death Star, like Lindsay Lohan through an 8-ball of coke, but no, it did none of that. I threw it through an enemy and he flinched and then kept coming at me. It’s like, what the hell is the point of this weapon if it doesn’t DO anything? An object that is shaped like a giant blade and is thrown like a giant blade should cut the hell out of everything in front of it… LIKE A GIANT BLADE. This game did none of that and disappointed me severely.

What did Game Informer give it? A 5 or something would have been acceptable, but no. What do they give it? A 7.5 somehow.

I am all for everyone having their own tastes, but this game was all around terrible. If they were willing to give Aliens: Colonial Marines a 4 then how the hell could they give Dark Sector anything higher than 5? This game was a failure in every area. Hell even the reviewer said it was bad, but still gives it a 7.5 and baffled me.

I understand they are going to give good and favorable reviews for EA games or big titles that Gamestop wants to sell, but sometimes it irks me when a fantastically written game with strong game play and beautiful music gets pushed over like NieR, while I have to suffer through the waves of Call of Duty: Black Ops II lovers who sit there and tell me how it is the best game ever and it has sold record breaking amounts of copies proving how great it is.

If there is one thing Americans have lost sight of, its that units sold and money made off a game doesn’t show how great a game is. Sales and marketing do not determine how great a game is. I enjoy a first person shooter and I love playing Elder Scrolls and Fallout, but sometimes people forget about games that are just… well fun. Look past the money and see real beauty within a game. It’s not all about your K/D ratio or your armor type, sometimes its about a powerful emotional story and sometimes its about a fun and humorous situation. Set down the billion dollar game for 1 hour and play something that makes you think, that makes you become part of it, that makes you feel like you are in a different world.

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