5 Reasons The Harbaugh Bowl Already Annoys Me

So the 49ers ended the Falcons attempt at not being the Falcons and the Ravens abused the Patriots ineffective pass defense thus giving us both the Harbaugh brothers in the Superbowl. Both the Ravens and 49ers earned it through solid play and great defense, but oh dear lord it is going to be awful until the first Sunday of February. This is mostly thanks to ESPN and their army of unintelligent pundits who will amp up this game to such a degree that even fans of these teams will begin to hate their teams.

5. ESPN Will Beat This Horse To Death

The sports juggernaut that is ESPN will basically be running Jeremy Schapp into overtime over the next few weeks. You will learn about everything both Harbaugh’s have done. Their first tooth, pube, ass scratch, kiss and everything in between. ESPN will make a new video each day to explain how it all somehow came to this. It was a destiny for these 2 to meet in the Superbowl when it was really just really good rosters that either got utilized correctly (49ers) or drafted well and maintained a solid roster (Ravens). ESPN is annoying as hell when it comes to this kind of stuff and trust me when I say you will hate ESPN by the end of the Superbowl. Do not switch it to their channel at 3am unless you want to kill yourself from rerun hell.

4. The Focus Will Be Less On The Teams

Because they are brothers a lot of time will be devoted to them in general. It’s not their faults, but good lord its going to be annoying. We will still have other storylines, but all our attention will be forced into how their schemes match up and how their storied lives went from this to that and where they coached to get where they are. We will have to hear from Andrew Luck about how great SFHarbaugh is. I honestly could care less about their background, history or anything. I just want to watch a game, not the f–king Lifetime channel.

3. Tim Tebow Will Somehow Be Involved

I really hope this is wrong, but with ESPN anything is possible in the shit department. ESPN and probably First Take will somehow “6 degrees of Kevin Bacon” this. Anytime Skip Bayless can feel the warm embrace of Tebow they make it so. ESPN needs to get some time in to groom their future talking head so the Superbowl month seems to be a perfect time to prep him for the next 15 years we have to deal with College Football Morning with Tim Tebow. This can also mean that Bayless will say that because of Kaepernick’s skill set and ability that Tebow could OBVIOUSLY take a team to the promised land, forgetting that Tebow cannot accurately throw and cannot bring a team back from being down 17. Tebow is like the Bible… facts be damned essentially.

2. “Superbowl Of The Century”

Every damn Superbowl is called the best Superbowl ever before it is even played. For once can we just wait till the game is played? It could be horrible and low scoring for all we know. The best Superbowl I have personally watched is the first Giants/Patriots Superbowl where Tyree saved Eli Manning’s ass and they defeated the undefeated New England Patriots. That was one of the greatest things I have ever seen. While I feel this game will be fantastic, stop propping it up so much like the last time the Ravens were in the Superbowl and I had to witness Kerry Collins trying.

1. Ray Lewis Is NOT A Great Person

Is Ray Lewis a great player? Yes, one of the best linebackers ever. Is he a good person? No, not by a long shot. Besides his run ins with fans and his general douchiness and the stories that follow, it is his stabbing issue that happened those many years ago. He was found “innocent” yet financially settled with both families of the men who were killed. We will hear about his story as much as the damn Harbaughs, the difference being that the Harbaughs are not “alleged” accessories to murder. Ray Lewis will always be overshadowed to me by this and nothing he can do will ever change it. Ray Lewis may not have been found guilty, but you don’t settle financially if you did nothing wrong. Sometimes the things that make it go away are the things that show you were the most at fault.

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