Evan Moorer a good friend of mine sounds off via my Facebook wall about NCAA and NFL football each week. Because they are hilarous I feel I must post them to the general public for your viewing pleasure as well. Well, let us get into this week’s letters in review!
This week in letters to football teams College Edition:
Something, something, something, Roll Tide.
Something, something, something, complete.
Dear Notre Dame,
Evan is unimpressed and wonders why you are 3 and not 5.
Triple overtime with Pitt? You ought to be ashamed.
Ya know what?… I just don’t have anything to say. Whatever… forget Florida… rah.
Dear USC and Oregon, I………what the hell?!… Are you both unaware of what defense is? I mean, there are days when the defense doesn’t make it off the bus, but it looks like these defenses were never recruited for either team! I mean, i’ll admit Oregon, I expected you to run up the score, but 51 points?! Did the Defensive coordinator get replaced by a broomstick?
Dear Arizona, Sweet BBQ Moses!!! You did not get beat that bad! No….holy……..WHO DID THIS!? WHO LET UCLA GET TO SIXTY?!
A sacrifice must be made to be forgiven for such a loss.
For those who dont know 66-10. How did number 22 Arizona only get 10 points on a unranked team? It doesnt matter. 56 point deficit…….Fire everybody, hit the reset button on the Super Nintendo.
Dear Colorado, My memory is pretty bad, I cant remember if I sent you a note last week or not… I feel like it was to Oregon… but anyway to more pressing matters, Saturday November 3rd, is national “sorry Colorado day” because when you get beat three weeks straight by tough teams like Oregon, USC, and Stanford life’s hard. Then within those last three games you have accumulated 20 points to the opposing teams 168 points, you need a national holiday. Even at this tragedy, I am tears, but not because im sad, but because its so hilarious.
Dear Georgia, I heard they call you the “Siberian Bulldog.”
Dear Ohio State and Michigan,
No one cares about either of you or the big ten anymore, in short:
Dear Clemson, 56 points is how you feel huh? Duke is gonna F–k you up in basketball.
You don’t deserve to be called team score a lot! We’re giving the title to Oregon! At least you won…
Dear State of Texas, how did you all win?
Dear TCU, nooooooooooo freaking way. WVU sangry way to win by a point.
Dear Boise State, yeah… blue grass doesn’t make your team play better.
Dear Nebraska and Michigan State,
Dear Louisville… you feel like a big man now?
Dear Kansas state, you ain’t sangry enough to be number 2. step out of line please.
Dear Oregon State, look at you, trying so hard to get into the top 10. You’re like the over achieving child begging for attention that no one cares about. If you do manage to sneak into the top 10, the first thing said will be something like this,
“Oregon state……who let you back in the house?”