Evan Moorer a good friend of mine sounds off via my Facebook wall about NCAA and NFL football each week. Because they are hilarous I feel I must post them to the general public for your viewing pleasure as well. Well, let us get into this week’s letters in review!
This week in letters to football teams College Edition:
Dear Florida, somewhere Tim Tebow is crying and laughing at the same time. I knew you were bit too highly ranked. Perhaps you should have tried the alligator f–khouse on Georgia instead of the gator chomp?
Dear Oregon, my sources tell me you scored 70 points because you are sangry about not being ranked 2nd. Well damn take it back. [UPDATE: Still not ranked 2nd and leapfrogged by Notre Dame LOLOLOLOL]
Dear Oklahoma, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *breath*
Dear Bama, Emperor Nick Saban: “something, something, something, roll tide”
Dear Michigan, I hope you all have noticed by now that the meme on every Michigan note is picture of Denard Robinson rolling back into the pocket with the caption “I have no idea what im doing.” Which is indeed hilarious, and somewhat true. But on Saturday October 27th, Michigan really learned about what having a QB who has no idea what he is doing is really like (again). Michigan!… I would like you to meet the backup to Denard Robinson, Russell Bellomy! He started against Nebraska with three interceptions! 3/16 passing for 38 yards. If this is the future for Michigan, welcome back to the dark ages. But alas there is hope! Brendan Gibbons was the only Wolverine to score, just like last week (only he won the game last week, you cant Nugent every game). This man has a career in the NFL. So hopefully there is photo of Bellomy below, and if not, oh well.
Dear USC, My faith in you is gone. Get out, all the way out of my top 10.
Dear Oregon State, if only you could score 70 points like your big brother, maybe you wouldn’t get beat by unranked teams while you’re in the top 10? *slaps hand* Bad Oregon State! Bad!
Dear K-State, your 55 points is irrelevant to Oregons 70…
[No Gif/Jpeg was earned by K-State. You get nothing.]
Dear FSU, 45 to 7? That’s how you feel? Basketball season Duke will be coming for that ass…
Dear South Carolina, how do you manage to keep winning!?
Dear Rutgers, I forget you existed… beat by Kent State? What’s a Rutger?
Dear Cinci, this is my first note to you! Also, probably the last…..
Dear Auburn, I heard you no longer run out of your tunnel before games. Instead you come out hanging your heads playing the song “its a hard knock life” after each loss. I bet head coach Gene Chizik cries himself to sleep saying “I’m sorry Cam….”
Dear Ohio, so much for being the new Boise…
Dear Wisconsin, My God… the Big Ten is just hurrable (Barkley voice).
Dear Boise State, one word… sangry.
Dear Texas, almost losing to a 1-7 team……. the word win is tossed around these days…..
Dear Ohio State, if you manage to go undefeated, you will be labeled the luckiest team of all time…
OF ALL TIME!