Evan Moorer a good friend of mine sounds off via my Facebook wall about NCAA and NFL football each week. Because they are hilarous I feel I must post them to the general public for your viewing pleasure as well. Well, let us get into this week’s letters in review!
(This week has been done by me due to Mr. Moorer being lame and doing his college work)
This week in letters to football teams College Edition:
Dear Wisconsin, very nice…you beat up on the crippled kid that is Minnesota. Enjoy that, “going to get destroyed by Michigan in the Big10 title game because Penn St and Ohio State can’t go” thing you have going. You suck Wisconsin, you’re just lucky.
Dear LSU, you are the ugliest top-10 team. You’re like a girl who takes a pic of themselves at the right angle to make yourself look very good…when in reality you have the physical attractiveness of a crazed Walrus. Get it together LSU…offense is not optional.
Dear Michigan, sweet barbeque Moses…how do you almost drop one against Michigan “LOLOLOLOL” State?! MSU has the offensive capability of a morbidly obese man running in a cure for cancer relay. Michigan…as sad as it is to say…is the only thing the Big10 has to rely on…get your s–t together!
Dear Texas Tech and TCU, at what point did you show up in football pads and a basketball game broke out?! 56-53? If either of you have defense on scholarship…they should be revoked immediately.
Dear Notre Dame, what do you and Barack Obama have in common? You both are barely holding off an angry Mormon. For real though…how did you almost blow it against a bunch of virgins?
Dear Florida, why so serious? LOL you just scored again. Im ready to start “Driskeling.” I’ve been wanting to say this for so long…you strangled a gamecock.
Dear Louisiana Tech, JESUS HERBERT WASHINGTON CHRIST! WHY?! WHY DID YOU SCORE 70?! WHY DID YOU SCORE 35 IN THE 1ST QUARTER?! CALM DOWN ALABAMA 2.0!
Dear West Virginia, remember like…3 weeks ago when you we’re suppose to be a contender? Geno was a Heisman candidate? Well, you have become the poster child for the term “crash and burn.”
Dear Oklahoma, why did you do that to Kansas? That was so unnecessary! We get it, you’re mad you have an L…you didn’t have to go all Kobe Bryant on a cleaning lady on them. We get it…Stoops angry…Stoops smash.
Dear Alabama, 44 points? How pedestrian. What, did you just not feel like scoring today? I’m disappointed that you didn’t put up more…ugh…put in some work. Get a tan.
Dear Ohio State, SRSLY?! You are the only team with a defense of people that are shakier than Michael J. Fox, Braxton couldn’t do anything most of the game and thank GOD you have a legit back-up. It was Purdue…PURDUE!!! Even they seemed surprised to be in a game! They talk about Kyle Orton still! For the love of everything that is sacred! Thank the football gods you have Urban Meyer, but still…what’s goin’ on?!